whinning2 (1 of 1)

I have a 5 year old daughter. Her name is Maria. She is creative and funny and full of emotions. Sometimes she whines, not because she is trying to be irritating but because she is asking for help and she knows that her high-pitched unhappy voice will grab my attention for better or for worse. One day, after a futile plea of “STOP WHINING” I looked at her and said “please use your confident voice, I can understand you so much better when you speak with confidence.” That day was the beginning of something new and wonderful.

I don’t just want Maria to stop whining because it is annoying for me to listen to. I want her to stop whining so that she can feel confident when she needs to ask or share something. I want her to know she is being listened to, and recognize that her desire is not always the most important thing that needs attention at that moment. There is no quick solution to get your kids to stop whining but there are simple steps you can take to help them speak and feel confident even when they are dissatisfied.

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  • hiedi - I love the “confident voice” bit. Seems like a good tool to add to the good parenting tool box I have been trying to fill. It’s pretty likely I’ll get to try it out tomorrow morning! 😉ReplyCancel

  • Mariko - This makes me oh so happy. The whole thing. This post. The blog. You and your kids. One thing I absolutely love about being friends with you is watching you interact with your kids! You are so good at it! I am not overusing exclamation points here! I’m taking notes.ReplyCancel

  • Rebeca - Nao tenho filhos ainda, mas achei as dicas incríveis para criar seres humanos com confiança e auto estima… Precisamos mais deles nesse mundo!ReplyCancel

    • damarispalmer@gmail.com - Obrigada Rebeca, as vezes a Maria minha filha de 5 anos ve adultos reclamando e ela fala “mamame eles nao estao falando com a voz confiante deles.” Acho que todos nos, nao importa a idade temos que sermos mais confiantes.ReplyCancel


I take pictures of my kids because I like to be reminded that there are moments, fleeting light-speed moments among the whining and the negotiating and the normal chaos, that are peaceful and warm. Moments of connection and light. During these tiny little moments I let my mind rest and I tell myself “the kids are ok. I’m ok. We’re ok.”

  • Abdo - These are beautiful! Great ctoomsipions and I love the uniqueness of each. I love it- I will have to do something similar with my two kiddos, perhaps when they’re a little older and get along better! Found you thru modern tog article- I’m at a point where I’d love to just have a PT job so I can do photography more and still be able to be with my family- like you have done! You have great work on here. Right now I feel like I have 4 full time jobs! I shouldn’t complain though. It’s all a learning process and I hope to get better every step of the way!ReplyCancel